Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize