Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
