That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
there is glitter all over my balls
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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