last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
