I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
