we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
