I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
