Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
