out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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