I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
