If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you inspire me to be a worse person
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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