He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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