Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
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