"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
