any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize