i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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