I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
