Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
