I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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