Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
