Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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