I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
