I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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