i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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