3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
