Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
