I'm pants shitting drunk right now
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize