I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
