You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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