1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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