With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
