New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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