ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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