You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
