that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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