Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
