How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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