So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
