If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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