OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
