i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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