the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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