His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
