Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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