Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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