some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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