i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
