why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize