Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
