if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My breasts were aching with rage.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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