I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
