Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
