wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
