dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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