so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
