I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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