You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
