You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize