so that wasnt chicken after all
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
