This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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