we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
