I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
