Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
