I got chris browned last night
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
